Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
