Having a random hookup so left but love u
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It was confusing and full of hummus
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
