omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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