Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
