Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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