She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
