she was so not down for the gang bang
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
