I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
