I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My balls are so social today.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
