Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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