Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
