Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
