OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
