I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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