no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
