I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
A bitchslap is in order.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize