I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
