she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
