he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
