CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
