doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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