you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
