She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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