So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
