so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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