What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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