Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
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So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
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I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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