But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
