well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
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So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
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We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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