I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
