ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
