yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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