I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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