Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
