Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
