are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Randomize
