just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
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He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
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We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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