lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
