Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
