is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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