There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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