Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
