Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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