We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
