i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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