dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.