After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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