i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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