i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
