id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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