I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
