How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
