the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
