exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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