OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
