is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Welp...herpes.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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