Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
