Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
